Technologies are a great support for humans; they help us making our lives easier in any term. For me the technologies are mainly useful in educational aspects. I can remember how I started in the use of these technologies, as I can say how I am using them nowadays, and how I think that they will help me in the future.
First I am going to place myself the first time I used a computer. I was 8 years old, and my mother bought me and my sister a computer, I remember that I was the only guy in my classroom who had a computer. I remember that I did not dare to turn it on if my sister was not with me, because I felt that maybe I could do something that may break down the computer, so it took me a lot of time to learn how to use it. I learned how to use “Microsoft Word” when I get in the Junior High School, because only one teacher asked us to present the homework printed.
Next point is the way I use technology nowadays. In the present I use the computer not only to do homework, I also use it to chat with friends using the “Windows Live Messenger”, to listen music while I am looking for something in the net, doing my homework or playing videogames. I think that I use the Internet and my computer more to have fun and entertainment than for educative purposes, but I think that the main importance of the internet is to make easy the way to obtain information, which helps me a lot when I have investigation homework.
Last point is about the future with technology. I see myself in the future more dependent of technology, I think that I will not be able to live in this world without a computer with internet access, I mean, if nowadays I get bored when I am without internet, what can I expect in the future when it will become more than just a way to spend time?, actually the future is on the technology. Life is 50% real life, 50% virtual life, I think that in the future it will become 20% real life, and 80% virtual life, I really hope that, at least, my life would not turn in that way.
As conclusion, I can say that technology is very helpful for me, and it is a way to get entertained and to spend time, but I can see that since I met technology, it has evolved in a very fast way, and not only that, nowadays it has become a necessity, as in the past years the necessity of humans to socialize, the technology has become that important for many people, and in the future it will become a very essential part of any human life.
Hi Collazo!!
ResponderEliminarI think that your essay is very clear and understandable. However it would be better if you do not put in each paragraph like first, next and last. Try to introduce the idea of the paragraph in other words, because with that words at the beginning of each paragraph seems like you are not linking the paragraph.
God job!!
Hey Collazo!!
ResponderEliminarI liked your essay, it is very understandable and organized, the only thing is that there are some words that sound a little repetitive, for example:
*first and remember
And in this sentence: "but I can see that since I met technology" I would just add the word "ever" since, so that it gets the meaning you want for it.
But besides that, nice essay!!
Hi, Collazo. I think you made a good effort but your essay can be improved.
ResponderEliminarYour thesis statement is not clear. What is it?
Your paragraphs should be linked in a more natural and smooth way.
Your conclusion is formed of a very long sentence. Separate it into shorter sentences, OK?
Besides you should correct the following:
1. they help us MAKING our lives easier in any term. For me THE technologies are mainly useful in educational aspects.
2. my mother bought ME AND MY SISTER A COMPUTER (rephrase it)
3. if my sister was not with me, BECAUSE I felt that…
4. I learned how to use “Microsoft Word” when I GET IN THE Junior High School, because only one teacher asked us to PRESENT the homework printed.
5. In the present I use the computer not only to do homework, I ALSO USE IT (but also) to chat with friends using THE “Windows Live Messenger”, to listen music while I am looking for something in the net, DOING my homework or PLAYING (they should be in infinitive form) videogames.
6. I think that I use the Internet and my computer MORE (it should be after entertainment) TO HAVE (for) fun and entertainment than for educative purposes, but I think that the main IMPORTANCE (advantage/benefit???) of THE internet is to make easy the way to obtain information, which helps me a lot when I have INVESTIGATION homework.
7. Life is 50% real LIFE, 50% virtual LIFE (not necessary), I think that in the future it will become 20% real life, and 80% virtual life, I really hope that, at least, my life would not turn IN (not necessary) that way.
8. AS CONCLUSION (missing something in the phrase)